You found out your dad's your uncle And that your uncle is your dad I know it's hard to remember And it sounds really fucking bad It might just be much easier To just call them both your cousin This is why in cousin fuckery The kids will never, ever win I know it's hard to follow this I'll be kind and dumb it right down Well, your mom's a freaking ho-bag And she has ho-bagged through this town She got married to her cousin And then had sex with his brother If you are now at all confused You can go and thank your mother Don't worry, there is some good news Your grandma is still your grandma Because your mom fucked two brothers You have still got the same grandpa But since those brothers were her cousins Grandma's also your cousin too If you want, just go look it up And you'll find out that this is true I know you want to confront him That uncle that's really your dad I see your inbred blood is boiling Yes, you do look so fucking mad Well, just try to take it easy Your uncle-dad might not have known That his cousin, who is his son, Was a child all his very own You see, kid, your mom's a ho-bag And she sure did get all around So, your uncle might not have known Whose puppy belonged to what hound It's not good to fuck your cousin Fucking his brother, that's just worse Everyone just gets so confused And the kids all get fucking cursed Your father who is your uncle Well, he also might not have known Whose progeny you really were Who really made the ho-bag groan I'm sure your uncle-dad's confused Like your dad-uncle is now too But they're just all cousin-fuckers And they are all cousins to you Every cousin of your mother Well, they are all your cousin too And the cousin of your father That's also your cousin, it is true So, your parents are both your cousins Because these cousins had to screw Well, it's a small town after all And there's just not a lot to do Well, we all do make our own beds And in those beds we have to lie I'm sure this is embarrassing Possibly, it has made you cry Well, you've got the same choices they had About who all you choose to fuck Please choose to not fuck your cousin So, your kids won't have your bad luck This town really isn't that small But its memory is quite long But in case anyone forgot Here's cousin fuckery in a song And they can't fucking deny it With results from 23andme Test results don't care who gets upset About a fucked up family tree Test results are happy to call out All this cousin fuckery Yes, test results are happy to call out All this cousin fuckery Yes, test results are happy to call out All this cousin fuckery