I will be kind to every bitch's pup But please, please do not knock your cousin up This is a thing that I sure can foresee And it goes way beyond just you and me You know your parents were second cousins If you really must, just go on and shag Don't become the Hapsburgs of fucking Fort Bragg I'll be so kind to each backstabber's child But please use birth control before getting wild She could get pregnant, who knows what will be And it goes beyond just you, her, and me You know your parents were second cousins If you must, go and plant that fucking flag But don't be the Hapsburgs of fucking Fort Bragg I will be loving to each tramp's baby But think about this--please think, just maybe Birth control could have helped your family tree If you want, you and her can go be a "we" You know your parents were second cousins, So, if you want, let those pants of yours sag But don't be the Hapsburgs of fucking Fort Bragg I will be so loving to that slut's kid It would not be its fault, what its parents did It would need so much love, who couldn't agree? Having been born from Swiss cheese and a flea You know your parents are second cousins So please shoot straight and please do not zigzag Don't become the Hapsburgs of fucking Fort Bragg That poor kid's parents would be first cousins That kid's grandparents would be second cousins Dear God, let me out of this family tree Dear God, I cannot wait to fucking flee Dude, your own parents are second cousins And if you must fuck your cousin the hag Don't become the Hapsburgs of fucking Fort Bragg I will be kind to every bitch's pup I'm just here advising don't knock her up That's my advice, what you do we shall see Now go enjoy your very fucked up "we" Man, it's so gross that you are first cousins And yet I can see that tail wag and wag My God, you're the Hapsburgs of fucking Fort Bragg