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The Buffet (Is Officially Closed)

The Buffet (Is Officially Closed) v-Fi

Country,Playful,Emotional,Catchy
avatarHannah RaeApr 9, 2026
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The Buffet (Is Officially Closed) (Verse 1) I used to think that Tinder was a specialized boutique Where Iโ€™d find a Prince with a "Christian-kind-of-chic" But I opened up the box and what did I find? A bunch of "Jekyll-Hydes" and the "user" kind Iโ€™ve paid for the popcorn and the matinee too While heโ€™s checking his Hinge for a version of "new" Iโ€™ve dated the baggage, Iโ€™ve dated the "whoops" Iโ€™ve jumped through a million narcissist hoops! (Pre-Chorus) I donโ€™t need the apps telling me what Iโ€™m worth Or a half-grown man trying to rehearse Iโ€™m looking for real, not a swipe-and-pretendโ€” I want the kind of love that actually stays till the end (Chorus) Oh, Iโ€™m done being the bank for a forty-year-old "boy" Who treats a womanโ€™s heart like a temporary toy Iโ€™m praying for a man who loves Jesus and the truth Not a serial-dating-buffoon chasing his youth Iโ€™ve cleared out the apps, Iโ€™ve deleted the "scams" Iโ€™m done with the takers and the digital "hams" Iโ€™m a prize, Iโ€™m a treasure, Iโ€™m a ten-out-of-tenโ€” And Iโ€™m never eating crumbs off a loser again! (No way!) (Verse 2) He said he was "spiritual" and "looking for a wife" Then asked if Iโ€™d pay for his mid-life-strife Iโ€™ve met 'em on Zoosk and Iโ€™ve met 'em on Hinge The kind of "bad dates" that make your soul cringe Iโ€™ve had enough "ghosts" to fill up a park Iโ€™m done with the men who are afraid of the dark They want a "CEO-Woman" with a heart of pure gold Then act like a toddler when the coffee gets cold! (Pre-Chorus) I donโ€™t need another โ€œmaybe weโ€™ll seeโ€ Or a man who canโ€™t show up consistently If it ainโ€™t steady, honest, and trueโ€” Then it ainโ€™t something Iโ€™m giving my heart to (Chorus) Oh, Iโ€™m done being the bank for a forty-year-old "boy" Who treats a womanโ€™s heart like a temporary toy Iโ€™m praying for a man who loves Jesus and the truth Not a serial-dating-buffoon chasing his youth Iโ€™ve cleared out the apps, Iโ€™ve deleted the "scams" Iโ€™m done with the takers and the digital "hams" Iโ€™m a prize, Iโ€™m a treasure, Iโ€™m a ten-out-of-tenโ€” And Iโ€™m never eating crumbs off a loser again! (Bridge) I want that "Grandpa-Kinda-Love," that steady kind of plan The kind of heart that shows up like a real grown man Sunday mornings, coffee, and a life built rightโ€” Not a disappearing act in the middle of the night And if heโ€™s not out there? Iโ€™ll still be okayโ€” Got peace in my heart and Iโ€™m walking my way (Final Chorus) Yeah, Iโ€™m done with the crumbs and the "buy-him-a-meal" Iโ€™m looking for the kind of love thatโ€™s actually real Iโ€™m a daughter of the King and the standard is high So if youโ€™re a "buffoon," you can just walk on by Iโ€™ve cleared out the history, Iโ€™ve cleared out the penโ€” And Iโ€™m never eating crumbs off a loser again! (Outro) (No more crumbs!) (Keep the change, buddy!) Delete the Bumble, goodbye Hingeโ€” Iโ€™m over the narcissistic-digital-cringe Just me, my peace, and a better planโ€” Waiting on a real, good man