To S E O, With Love From Marketing [Intro — spoken, smoky blues swagger] Dear S E O, Love you. Mean it. Please stop focusing on the robots. [Verse 1] Dear S E O, I got your keyword sheet All fourteen thousand rows You highlighted forty-seven things And said, “These have room to grow” You want an Ultimate Guide to Everything Because the other guys have three I asked if anybody needs it You said, “Volume's up by three... [pause] percent" You changed my headline yesterday Said the keyword had to lead Now it says “Enterprise SaaS Solutions For YOU” And no one wants to read I said, “Can we make it interesting?” You looked genuinely confused Then added “Best” before the keyword And said, “There. [short pause] Optimized for you.” [Chorus] To S E O, with love from Marketing Not every high-volume keyword is a beautiful thing You can get the click You can win the rank But if nobody buys Then what goes in the bank? And if we're number one For something no one needs I'll celebrate with you Right after we get leads. [Verse 2] Dear S E O, we have nine hundred pages You said, “We need some more” There's a blog from 2017 No one's ever seen before You said, “Don't delete it, it's got backlinks” Four, in fact, you showed them all One's a scraper site in Belarus And one's somebody named Paul You brought me search intent data And I brought customer calls They said price is the problem You said, “That's not in SEMRush at all.” I said, “They literally told us.” You said, “The sample size is eight.” I said, “They're our actual customers.” You said... “Can we circle back on search intent?” [Chorus] To S E O, with love from Marketing Not every high-volume keyword is a beautiful thing You can get the click You can win the rank But if nobody buys Then what goes in the bank? And if we're number one For something no one needs I'll celebrate with you Right after we get leads. [Breakdown — spoken, beat drops low] Also... “We should write a blog about this.” Why? “Search volume.” Does our customer care? [pause] “Search. [pause] Volume.” Okay. What would it say? [pause] “Ultimate Guide.” [pause] Of course it would. **[Beat drops]** **[Bridge]** I know you need the crawl You know I need the sale You know what people search for I know why the message fails You bring the query data I'll bring the reason why And maybe, just maybe We'll make something people actually buy You keep me out of page two I'll keep the brand intact And I promise I won't touch the slug If you stop calling traffic “impact.” [Final Chorus] To S E O, with love from Marketing I swear I'm really not trying to change every thing Keep your redirects I'll send you the plan We'll get the devs involved before The whole thing hits the fan You help them find us I'll give them reasons to believe And maybe we can finally agree... Traffic ain't a lead. [Outro — spoken over blues guitar] P.S. Fine. Keep the frog page. But I'm changing the CTA.