I spent years pretending I didn’t see you, But God knows I clocked every room you walked into. Acted unbothered, but I always checked— Who you were with, who had your smile, Who got the version of you I only held in my chest. And I told myself it was nothing, But your absence was loud as hell. Every time you didn’t show up, Something in me fell. And I hate how I still flinch At the first sign of being pushed aside. Like I’m backed into a corner With nowhere left to hide. ’Cause I’ve been blind all these years, Thinking distance meant protection. But the truth is, I burn the bridge The second I feel rejection. And I lied — God, I lied — When I said I didn’t love you anymore. That was fear talking, Not the woman who’s loved you since before she knew herself. And I hate how you still feel like home Even when I’m running for my life from what I feel. I used to sneak looks at you like a teenager, Acting like I didn’t care, But memorizing the way you moved Like it was scripture in the air. And every time you disappeared, I felt it in my bones. Like something ancient waking up Just to tell me I was alone. So when you triggered that old wound, I did what I always do — I threw fire at the one man Who ever saw the real me breaking through. And I wish I didn’t crumble Every time I feel unseen. Wish I didn’t turn into a storm When all I wanted was to be held clean. ’Cause I’ve been blind all these years, Thinking distance meant protection. But the truth is, I burn the bridge The second I feel rejection. And I lied — God, I lied — When I said I didn’t love you anymore. That was fear talking, Not the woman who’s loved you since before she knew herself. And I hate how you still feel like home Even when I’m running for my life from what I feel. If I could stop the panic, If I could breathe before I break, If I could let you see the softness Under every choice I make… Maybe then you’d hear the truth Under every word I threw like stone — I never meant to push you out, I was terrified you’d go. I’ve been blind all these years, But I see you now, clear as day. And the fear that made me push you out Ain’t love — it’s just the price I’ve paid For every man who left before you stayed. And I lied — God, I lied — When I said I didn’t love you anymore. You were the truth I kept running from, The one I never stopped looking for. And maybe home is just the love We’re finally brave enough to hold.