# To Marketing, With Love From Your SEO **[Intro — spoken, smoky blues guitar over a dark beat]** Dear Marketing, Love you. Mean it. Please stop touching things. **[Verse 1]** Dear Marketing, can you please stop adding links everywhere? Billy clicked one from Accounting, now he’s hiding under a chair Said Analytics looked scary, thought the whole damn company died We told him, “Billy, that’s just traffic.” He said, “Then why’s the line declined?” And whoever wrote that funny post About frogs making noise at night Congratulations, we’re page one now For **“frogs farting”** overnight You wanted thought leadership You wanted market share Google heard “amphibian flatulence” And said, “Yep. Put ’em there.” **[Chorus]** To Marketing, with love from your SEO Please don’t change the URL and forget to let me know Don’t delete the page Don’t rename the slug Don’t add twelve H1s because “they needed more punch” And if you launch on Friday At 4:58 I’ll still love you Monday But I may not be great. **[Verse 2]** Dear Marketing, “make us rank for SaaS” Is not quite a strategy Neither is “our competitor does it” Though I admire the energy No, we can’t rank by Tuesday No, traffic isn’t all the same And if the lead was looking for free clip art Please stop calling that a win in the campaign You added pop-ups to the homepage Then another one for chat Then a coupon, survey, newsletter And a spinning wheel on top of that Now Core Web Vitals has left the building Conversion rate has packed a bag And somewhere in Search Console There’s a little white flag **[Chorus]** To Marketing, with love from your SEO Please don’t change the URL and forget to let me know Don’t delete the page Don’t rename the slug Don’t add twelve H1s because “they needed more punch” And if you launch on Friday At 4:58 I’ll still love you Monday But I may not be great. **[Breakdown — spoken, beat drops low]** Also... “Can you SEO this?” What is “this”? A PDF? A billboard? The CEO’s LinkedIn bio? ...a trade show booth? **[Beat drops]** **[Bridge]** I know you need the leads You know I need the crawl You want the big campaign I want redirects before you move it all You bring the clever headline I’ll bring the search demand And maybe, just maybe We can launch something Google understands **[Final Chorus]** To Marketing, with love from your SEO I swear I’m really trying not to tell you “I told you so” Keep the good ideas Just send me the plan Before the dev team pushes live And nobody knows who ran... The migration. **[Outro — spoken over blues guitar]** P.S. The frog page is still getting traffic. Do not touch it.