Verse 1
(Spoken-word flow, very cool, very Blondie)
I see you leaning in like you own the lease
Like you bought the rights to my inner peace
You’re checking out the fit, you’re checking out the glow
But you’re standing in a lane where you don’t go.
Yeah, the hair is real. Yeah, the look is mine.
But you’re crossing over a very visible line
You’re acting like a fan who jumped the rail
But this item, baby? It’s not for sale.
Pre-Chorus
(Beat stays heavy, vocals get a bit more rhythmic)
Look all you want, it’s a free-view show
But there’s a limit to how far you go
You’re getting warm, you’re getting close
But I’m the one who decides the dose.
Chorus
(Huge, chantable, the "viral" moment)
Hands off the merch!
(Clap, clap)
Hands off the merch!
Look but don’t touch, you’re doing too much
Move it on back, you’re losing your clutch
Hands off the merch!
(Clap, clap)
Hands off the merch!
If you want a piece, you gotta do the work
Until then, baby...
Hands off the merch!
Verse 2
(Bass gets even funkier)
You’re trying to name-drop, trying to impress
Like a discount suit in a designer mess
You say you know the owner? Well, the owner is me.
And I’m revoking your temporary security.
Take a mental picture, keep it on file
But keep your fingers off the high-end style
It’s a "strictly visual" situation
Consider this your formal notification.
Pre-Chorus
(Build up — percussion adds in)
Look all you want, it’s a free-view show
But there’s a limit to how far you go
You’re getting warm, you’re getting close
But I’m the one who decides the dose.
Chorus
(Maximum volume)
Hands off the merch!
(Clap, clap)
Hands off the merch!
Look but don’t touch, you’re doing too much
Move it on back, you’re losing your clutch
Hands off the merch!
(Clap, clap)
Hands off the merch!
If you want a piece, you gotta do the work
Until then, baby...
Hands off the merch!
Bridge
(The "Breakdown" — just the bass and a cowbell)
Step back. (Step back)
Eyes up. (Eyes up)
Line’s drawn. (Line’s drawn)
Give it up. (Give it up)
(Vocal whisper)
It’s limited edition.
(Shouted)
AND YOU DON'T HAVE THE COUPON!
Final Chorus
(Ad-libs, high energy, the whole room is shouting)
Hands off the merch!
(Clap, clap)
Hands off the merch!
Look but don’t touch, you’re doing too much
Move it on back, you’re losing your clutch
Hands off the merch!
(Clap, clap)
Hands off the merch!
If you want a piece, you gotta do the work
Until then, baby...
Hands off the merch!
[Outro — just that iconic bassline fading out, with one final dry comment]
"No, really. Put it back."
(Snap)