He likes to push and shove the ladies Not with his hands, but still, he’s so slick He’s just a pro inside a courtroom He knows every nasty, shady trick Why does he like to pick on women? Why does he have to be such a dick? Well, some men just have to improvise if they want to make a woman groan And the ladies know that’s one got a small secret Like, small Like very, very small He’s got a microscopic secret all his own He defends men that hurt the ladies Not with his fists, but with his rude tongue He sings such songs inside a courtroom What bullshit song has he not yet sung? Why does he have to pick on women? Such arrogance into court he’s brung Well, some men just have to improvise if they want to make a woman moan And the ladies know that one’s got a small secret Like, small Like very, very small He’s got a microscopic secret all his own He earns cash by men hurting ladies Not playing fair, yeah, he likes to cheat He spouts their lies inside a courtroom What vile lying crap won’t he repeat? Why’s he help those men hurting women? Why’s he get rich on pain and deceit? Well, some men just have to improvise if they are working with less than stone And the ladies know that one’s got a small secret Like, small Like very, very small He’s got a microscopic secret all his own Will he get therapy about ladies? Will he go read some shrink’s book or two? Consider his actions in a courtroom? What he's put so many women through? Will he stop helping men hurting women? Nah, fuck it. Just let those women sue! Yeah, some men just have to improvise if they have a lacking southern zone And the ladies know that one’s got a small secret Like, small Like very, very small He’s got a microscopic secret all his own Is he hiding his pain with ladies? Well, not the point, don’t know and don’t care Don't care why he lashes out in court Come on, girls, this shit’s not even rare Sympathy’s not the job of women If men don’t impress their underwear Yes, some men just have to improvise what they can’t give and can barely loan The ladies know that lawyer’s got a small secret Like, small Like very, very small He’s got a microscopic secret all his own Like, small Like seriously small Now it’s a microscopic legend all his own